Is It Possible To Date Without Social Media 💪🏿
Most of us have casual sex every now and then — and whether you’re getting it on with anyone you know is another question altogether. But does being uncommitted mean you’re automatically at risk for an STD or a pregnancy? What about emotional consequences? While we’re sure those exist, we’re less sure they’re a reason to avoid an uncommitted relationship.
Is casual sex bad for you?
Yes, it’s emotionally taxing.The New York Times recommends it, the porn industry raves about it and though you can find data online, it’s hard to find a serious study on casual sex. It’s even harder to find data on how to best enjoy it.
Let’s start with you, who’s doing the casual sex. “We can’t say we’re not putting ourselves at risk,” says San Francisco sex psychologist Rebecca Chalker, who’s seen her share of heartbroken patients. “It’s something that we do and we have to be comfortable with the fact that there are things we can’t control.”
But you’re comfortable with it, right? If you’re not comfortable, you’re not casual, we say. So how is it that you’re not getting sick from it?
Here’s what we know: Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) can only be transmitted when you have sex with an infected person. (The same is true of any type of disease that only gets transmitted through an exchange of body fluids.) Since an infected person could be any type of sex partner — a new one or your usual one — the risk of getting infected in casual sex has to be the same as if you had regular sex.
When it comes to getting pregnant, the risks are larger. While an infected partner could be anyone, a fetus cannot tell the difference between you and anyone else. So that means that at any level of casual sex, you might be pregnant.
So far, so casual. But that’s only part of the story.
We’re focused on the risk of getting an STD or pregnant, because no one has to get pregnant, and we know that getting STDs can be really painful. But what about the fun side of casual sex?
After all, without a committed relationship, casual sex is often more fun than being with someone who’s in your life. And that doesn’t mean you’re never gonna have a heartbreak. It just means that if you’re having fun, who cares? It might not be great to have a heartbreak every single time you date, but some
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One of the side effects of hooking up is the sicking feelings that linger for a bit before sex happens. But a hookup doesn’t necessarily have to mean multiple partners in one day. A small hookup can be all you need — think of it like getting a head start on Tinder. Maybe you go with a friend and he or she goes straight home, but you both get off on each other’s company. This is really just the tip of the iceberg — there are so many ways to approach casual sex that will have you both getting off on the sex.
A hookup might also just be a dude or dudette who is single and casually interested in swinging with another person. In this case, you may find yourself putting your ace in your sleeve — if you’re into BDSM or that sort of thing. “Every time I do that, I wonder whether or not I’m some kind of sicko,” Avital says. “And then I start wondering what the fuck my thing is.”
While most people can only dream of having the right to their very own Bed Bath and Beyond, some social media users enjoy acting like an entitled capitalist and expecting discounts and rewards for just being online every so often.
There’s also been a rise in virtual gifts that you can send to someone you’re having sex with. It usually comes in the form of a random line of text, but some people just want to go the extra mile. Newer age sex toys have brought about orgasmic pleasure on a bigger, more extreme scale for people of every sexual orientation.
The rules for casual sex are pretty hazy for now, but sex columnist Dan Savage lists the three rules that make it safe: 1. Make sure you’re safe before you get down. 2. If the sex is in some kind of public place, get the fuck out of there immediately. 3. Have safe sex.
We get that most people would prefer the awkwardness of the dating world over the uncertainty that casual sex brings, but sometimes it’s just too much to handle. “I find that people often face a level of discomfort and shame about casual sex because they’re not acquainted with what it looks like,” Doss says. “When people have casual sex with someone they just met, it’s hard to tell if they’re going to like them, know what to do with them, or what their motivations are.”
It all comes down to the same thing — you know that your casual fling will probably be something you want to keep
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